When we try to justify the abuse we got, that is not forgiveness. Justifying the abuse we got leads us to abuse others. It will not heal us.
When we deny the abuse we got, that is like shoving dirt over a wound to cover it up, which will fester and cause more problems. Denial is not forgiveness, denial will not heal us.
Forgiveness is accepting that what happened to us is wrong, but choosing to not hold any grudges against the person. It is choosing not to have bitter feelings towards the person. It is a choice to let go of the past. It does not mean trusting the person or setting your self up for further abuse. It does not mean coming into that person's life again. It just means not holding anything against the person. Forgiveness is the start of the healing process. Healing cannot happen without forgiveness.
Rodney Calmes
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