Ways That Hinder Training Up Your Children In The Way They Should Go (see Prov. 22:6)
Throughout scripture, we see that children should be taught, corrected, disciplined, instructed and guided in the way they should go. Eph. 6:4 and Col. 3:21 talks about not provoking your children. The common things parents do listed below brings up ways parents provoke their children and can do NOTHING to teach or guide them.
1. "...because I said so!" - There is no reasoning behind this, has no value in teaching or guiding. It gives an underlying message that the child is worthless and doesn’t matter.
2. "You don't get a say!" - Another way of saying that they don't count or that they don't matter. This also has no value in teaching or guiding. It causes disconnection between the parent and child. Hinders communication and builds walls between the parent and child. The child feels like they have no voice, feels unloved and that you are not looking out for what is best for them, but only for your own selfish interests.
3. "Just do what you are told!" - This also takes away from a child feeling that they have any worth, and have no voice. It hinders their ability to think and problem solve. There is no value in teaching or guiding them with this.
4. "I am the parent, that's why!" - Gives the child an underlying message that you don't care about them, but you only care about your own interests. Doesn't teach them anything, and it teaches them to not think on their own. It also makes them feel that they have no voice, builds walls between the parent and child, and hinders communication between the child and the parent.
5. "You don't have to know why!" - This is also fruitless in teaching anything. It is fruitless in giving guidance. Teaches a child not to think and hinders problem solving skills.
6. "Come on, hurry up!" - This teaches impatience, gives a child or adult no chance to think or problem solve. Any time a person has to rush, it can cause their mind to shut down. This goes against the fruit of the Spirit as laid out in Galatians 5:23 which is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
All of things listed above are common American ways of bringing up children. They go against Proverbs 22:6, and it is ABUSE and SINFUL to use sayings like this. I can share from my experience of having things like these said to me, it made me feel unloved as a child. It made me feel worthless and I felt like I didn't matter. It also built a lot of mistrust. I never learned anything from it, except not to bring children up like this. I can tell that it hindered my ability to think and problem solve. It hindered my ability to make decisions. It took a long time to work through this.
If you have been brought up like this, I will pray for you. God can set you free from this, and He can restore you. God has helped me through this. He can do it for you also.
Rodney Calmes
