How We Deal With Our Children Will Have An Effect On Them For The Rest Of Their Lives. Love Can Overcome Many Obstacles
You may choose various forms of discipline on your children. The Bible talks about spankings, and if you choose to spank, do it in a way that does not cause harm. A sting to produce repentance is what may be needed, but never harm your children. When you establish punishments that do not harm, always explain to them that they are loved, and expain to them what they did wrong and how they can correct it. Never degrade them, or call them names or say hurtful things to them.
When they ask why they get spanked on their bottom, explain to them that it is the least likely place to cause injuries. That type of explanation shows respect for their bodies along with not causing harm when spanking them. Causing harm shows disrespect to their bodies, and can give them a message that that part of their bodies is bad or that their whole bodies are bad. Doing things that risk harm even if no harm was done at that time - example: hitting in the head, is also showing disrespect for their bodies, and they may be resentful of that.
Never tell your children that they have bad parts of their bodies. God created all parts of their bodies, and each one does their part. All parts God created is good. Never tell them that they are a bad person. God created their person, and it is good. God created their emotions. God created their knowledge and abilities, and it is all good. Their person is good. The sin is bad. You are punishing their sin. After disciplining them, and telling them what they did wrong, and explaining how they could have done it right, reassure your love for them. What you tell your children will have an effect on them for the rest of their lives. Even if it was only told once. Even the things that are not hurtful can have an effect on them for life. Example: I was not hurt when I asked my mother why I got spanked on my bottom, and was told that it was a bad part that should be punished. I never forgot that, and when I was tempted with self destructive behaviors, that was the part that I harmed.
Anytime you give any kind of message that their body is bad or even parts are bad, you may set them up to be tempted into self harm. If you give a message that their person is bad, you may also be setting them up for that temptation as well. Bullying can also lead a person into self harm or suicide. Teach your children not to bully others, and if they are being bullied, continually reassure them of your love, and let them know that it is ok for them to be who they are. Never tell them that there is something wrong with them. If you make them feel that way, they may alienate themselves from you. People pick on others because they are different. Let them know it is ok to be different, and that you love them for who they are, and God loves them for who they are. The only thing that is not ok is sin. Sin needs to be corrected, then forgiven after the correction is done. Do not continually harp on their sin after the correction was done and repentance was shown. The harping only does harm and degrades them, along with causing discouragement, and overwhelming them with excessive sorrow.
If you do make mistakes, be the first to admit them and tell them you are sorry. Never be the type of person who is always right. Being always right can get them discouraged. Saying “I’m Sorry” is not easy, but it does a lot of healing for your children.
Your love for your children will help them overcome many obstacles in life, and if you love your children, they will thrive.
Rodney Calmes
You may choose various forms of discipline on your children. The Bible talks about spankings, and if you choose to spank, do it in a way that does not cause harm. A sting to produce repentance is what may be needed, but never harm your children. When you establish punishments that do not harm, always explain to them that they are loved, and expain to them what they did wrong and how they can correct it. Never degrade them, or call them names or say hurtful things to them.
When they ask why they get spanked on their bottom, explain to them that it is the least likely place to cause injuries. That type of explanation shows respect for their bodies along with not causing harm when spanking them. Causing harm shows disrespect to their bodies, and can give them a message that that part of their bodies is bad or that their whole bodies are bad. Doing things that risk harm even if no harm was done at that time - example: hitting in the head, is also showing disrespect for their bodies, and they may be resentful of that.
Never tell your children that they have bad parts of their bodies. God created all parts of their bodies, and each one does their part. All parts God created is good. Never tell them that they are a bad person. God created their person, and it is good. God created their emotions. God created their knowledge and abilities, and it is all good. Their person is good. The sin is bad. You are punishing their sin. After disciplining them, and telling them what they did wrong, and explaining how they could have done it right, reassure your love for them. What you tell your children will have an effect on them for the rest of their lives. Even if it was only told once. Even the things that are not hurtful can have an effect on them for life. Example: I was not hurt when I asked my mother why I got spanked on my bottom, and was told that it was a bad part that should be punished. I never forgot that, and when I was tempted with self destructive behaviors, that was the part that I harmed.
Anytime you give any kind of message that their body is bad or even parts are bad, you may set them up to be tempted into self harm. If you give a message that their person is bad, you may also be setting them up for that temptation as well. Bullying can also lead a person into self harm or suicide. Teach your children not to bully others, and if they are being bullied, continually reassure them of your love, and let them know that it is ok for them to be who they are. Never tell them that there is something wrong with them. If you make them feel that way, they may alienate themselves from you. People pick on others because they are different. Let them know it is ok to be different, and that you love them for who they are, and God loves them for who they are. The only thing that is not ok is sin. Sin needs to be corrected, then forgiven after the correction is done. Do not continually harp on their sin after the correction was done and repentance was shown. The harping only does harm and degrades them, along with causing discouragement, and overwhelming them with excessive sorrow.
If you do make mistakes, be the first to admit them and tell them you are sorry. Never be the type of person who is always right. Being always right can get them discouraged. Saying “I’m Sorry” is not easy, but it does a lot of healing for your children.
Your love for your children will help them overcome many obstacles in life, and if you love your children, they will thrive.
Rodney Calmes
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