To Teach, Admonish, Train, Instruct, Rebuke, Reproof, Guide, Correct, And Chasten
There are more verses on teaching, admonishing, training, reproof, guidance, correcting, and chastening than there are on beating. There is not one verse that says to beat where it doesn't include something about correction or instruction. This would imply that any form of beating or pumishment without instruction is clearly abuse.
As I have studied the Hebrew in the Old Testament and the Greek in the New Testament, more insights will be shed on this topic. I am going to start with Proverbs as we look closely on how we should bring up children on a scriptural level.
When we look at Proverbs 23:13-14 - "Do not withhold CORRECTION from a CHILD, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell."
When we read this in the English we understand, it would tend to suggest that we severely beat our children brutally. I am going to break this down in the original Hebrew to show that this does NOT mean brutal beatings. Keep in mind that if we leave bruises, that bruises CAN form clots that can get into the blood stream which can work their way to the lungs or heart, and CAN cause death. Cuts or lacerations CAN cause infections which can kill also. This alone shows that NO BODILY HARM or INJURY should be done.
Exodus 21:20 - "And if a man beats his servant or his maidservant with a rod (shevet), so that he dies under his hand, he shall surely be punished." This suggests that beaing with rods can be done in a way to cause death according to this scripture. Children die every year from corporal punishment.
I am now going to break this down in Hebrew to show you that it does NOT mean severe beating, and it can imply even non-physical correction. I will also show through other scriptures that the objective is NOT to just spank, but to use a method of discipline or correction that is the most effective for teaching and instructing the child.
The word "Correction" in verse 13 is originally "Musar" (Lexicon 4148) in Hebrew. It means to chastise, reproof, warn, or instruct". This word is also used in the following verses: Proverbs 1:8, 13:1, 13:24, 15:5, 22:15, and 23:13-14.
The word "beat" in verses 13-14 is "nakah" (Lexicon 5221) in Hebrew. It means to strike LIGHTLY or SEVERELY, LITERALLY or FIGURATIVELY.
The word "rod" in verses 13-14 is "shevet" (Lexicon 7626) which is a branch, a scion, a stick, a staff, or a rod of a shepherd. The rod of punishment was used was also used as a figurative description of when God sent calamities. This would imply that the rod can be used as a literal stick or a figurative meaning for an effective form of correction. (Please note that shepherds used rods to GUIDE their sheep, not beat them. A staff is symbolic for authority, therefore, it implies the parent to have godly and Christ-like authority over their children.)
Gathering this information on Proverbs 23:13-14, we see that the emphasis is on correcting a child in a way that is effective, and it gives room for physical or non-physical form of correction. This is NOT locked in to a severe form of physical punishment. We will look on a little further starting with more from the Old Testament.
Let's look at Proverbs 29:15 - "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."
Reproof in Proverbs 29:15 is "Tokhechah" (Lexicon 8433) which means correction, refutation, proof, rebuke, or reproof.
To refute is an act of proving wrong.
Rebuke is a sharp disapproval or criticism of someone because of their behavior or actions.
Correction is to put right an error or fault.
Reproof is an expression of blame or disapproval.
REPROOF IS A MILDER FORM OF REBUKE. This would imply that there is a range of milder correction to severe as well. We see that it is NOT locked in to a severe form of correction.
Let's look at Proverbs 29:17 - "Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul."
In this verse "Correct" is "yasar" (Lexicon 3256) which means to chastise, reproof, discipline, chasten, instruct, warn, correct, punish, physical enforcement, or verbal reinforcement.
To CHASTISE means to rebuke or reprimand severely, to punish, especially by beating. To CHASTEN means of a reproof or misfortune - have a restraining or moderating effect on, to discipline or punish. CHASTEN is a MILDER form of CHASTISE. We will see verses suggesting CHASTENING our children, but we will NEVER see verses suggesting CHASTISING children, there is a huge difference. CHASTISING or severe beating is for CRIMINAL ADULTS.
Discipline means the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of conduct using punishment to correct disobedience.
Proverbs 29:17 would also allow for milder or severe correction in and of just the verse. We will look at other Old Testament and New Testament scriptures to put things in a better perspective.
Another scripture with this Hebrew word would be Deuteronomy 8:5 - "So you should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you. This scripture shows that God deals with us as a father should deal with his children.
Notice "CHASTEN" and not "CHASTISE" in this verse. As we discussed, CHASTEN is milder than CHASTISE.
Proverbs 3:12 - " for whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights."
This verse "Correct" uses the Hebrew word "yakhach" (Lexicon 3198) which means to be right, to argue, to decide, justify, or convict. This would imply that the Lord convicts us of sin and through His word advises us to make right or repent of our sin issues, just as a father ought to convict his children of their sin and instruct his children to make right or repent of their sin issues.
Another thing to consider is Proverbs 17:10 - "Reproof is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool."
This is to show that even giving a fool a severe beating would prove to be ineffective. It is more effective to give a wise man instruction. As we look with some insight, no matter how much you beat a person without instruction, it doesn't do any good. Instruction is more effective than just beatings.
Another thing to consider is Proverbs 15:1 - "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." This is also suggesting that we do not correct or teach a person with harshness. We should never, ever use harsh words on someone. Doing what is necessary to bring repentance is one thing, but harshness is another. Any form of harsh language, wrath, or anger is abuse.
Other words used for teaching and instructing are as follows in the Old Testament:
"Shanan" (Lexicon 8150) - to inculcate (instill by persistent instruction) or to teach diligently. Found in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 - "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."
"Yada" (Lexicon 3045) - to know, observe, care, recognize, instruct, punish, acknowledge, acquaint, advise, answer, appoint, assure, perceive, understand, acquire knowledge, know, discern, be acquainted. This is found in Deuteronomy 4:9 - "Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and grandchildren; "
Going on to Deuteronomy 4:10 - "especially concerning the day you stood before the Lord your God in Horeb, when the Lord said to me 'Gather the people to Me, and I will let them hear My words, that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on earth, and that they may teach their children." Learn and Teach in verse 10 comes from "Lamadh" (Lexicon 3925) which means to learn, to study, to be accustomed to, teach, instruct, train, to practice, to be taught, or to be trained.
Another version of teach in the Old Testament is "yara" - to teach or point out. This is found in Leviticus 10:11 - "...that you may teach the children of Israel all the statutes which the Lord has spoken to them by the hand of Moses."
What we have seen through the Old Testament so far is that the Bible puts much more emphasis on teaching than on beating our children. Not once do we see beating in a verse without having some word that represents teaching or instruction. This clearly shows that beating without teaching is abuse for sure. We have also concluded that causing bodily harm or injury is abuse just by looking at Proverbs 23:13-14 and Exodus 21:20 very closely within its own context. To get more insight, we will look closely at the New Testament.
Understand that the New Testament backs the Old Testament and the Old Testament backs the New Testament. This is why we must take the context of the New Testament and the Old Testament together in context.
We are going to look at the following scriptures in the New Testament. Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21, 2 Tim 3:16-17, and Hebrews 12:5-11.
I want to first of all look at 2 Tim 3:16-17 - "All Scripture is given by the inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work."
Doctrine comes from "didaskalia" (Lexicon 1319) which means instruction, doctrine, learning or teaching.
Reproof comes from "elegchos" (Lexicon 1650) which means proof, conviction, evidence, reproof, to change on the basis of which one is convicted and the manifestation of the truth on that charge.
Correction comes from "epanorothosis" (Lexicon 1882) which means to get right again (repentance), correct, to make right, correction or amendment to that which is wrong in a life.
Instruction comes from "paideia" (Lexicon 3809) which means to instruct, chasten, or correct by word or by deed. This word was also used for "training" in Ephesians 6:4 and for "chasten(ing)" in Hebrews 12:7,11.
Our teachings, correction, reproof, and instruction in righteousness all comes from scripture. We ought to use the scriptures to teach, correct, reprove, or instruct anyone whether child or adult.
Let's look at Ephesians 6:4 - "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the TRAINING and ADMONITION of the Lord."
We have seen that training meant to instruct, chasten, or correct by word or deed.
We will also look at "Admonition" which in Greek is "nouthesia" (Lexicon 3559) which means CALLING ATTENTION, MILD REBUKE or WARNING."
Admonition is NOT a harsh rebuke or that would contradict "MILD" within that definition. Seeing this scripture alone would indicate that we ought to deal with our children in a MILD manner. When we compare this to Proverbs 23:13-14, this would also indicate that to "beat" would mean to give them a mild strike or prodding to get their attention, then warn them of their disobedience or defiance. To beat them severely would contradict this verse. ALL SCRIPTURE must FIT TOGETHER. This is why we CAN'T TAKE SCRIPTURE OUT OF CONTEXT. It is important to take the FULL CONTEXT of scripture to get its true meaning.
I want to look an another scripture similar to Ephesians 6:4, which is found in Colossians 3:21 - "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged."
The first part of Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 would appear to say the same thing in English, but going back to the original Greek, they say two different things.
Ephesians 6:4 "provoke" is "parorgizo" (Lexicon 3949) in Greek, which means to anger along side or enrage. This would indicate to not take your anger out on your children or to make them angry by showing your anger towards them (anger along side). It is also meaning not to enrage your children and not enrage yourself along side them.
Colossians 3:21 "provoke" is "erethizo" (Lexicon 2042) which means to stimulate to anger or provoke. This would indicate that we should not do things to aggravate our children or arouse their anger. This happens by teasing them such as holding out candy and pulling it away when they reach for it, harsh words or harsh treatment (see Proverbs 15:1) which stirs up anger. Bullying our children also stirs up anger. There are other things that stirs their anger that we should not practice.
We also ought to look at Galatians 6:1 - "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you be tempted."
Seeing this, we ought to address people in a spirit of gentleness. NEVER SHOULD ANGER OR HARSHNESS BE EXERCISED AT ANY TIME. Firmness may be necessary at times to address an ISSUE, but NEVER to tear down a person.
Tearing down a person or shaming a person is SIN regardless whether they are a child or an adult.
We are now going to contrast how a father should deal with his children and how God deals with us, which should be very similar to each other. We will look at Hebrews 12:5b-11 to start.
Hebrews 12:5b-7 - "My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?"
In these verses, we see 2 definitions for chasten. One word is "paidero" (Lexicon 3811) which means to train up a child, educate, or discipline.
The other definition is "paideia" (Lexicon 3809) which means to instruct, chasten, or correct by word or by deed.
"Scourges" in verse 6 comes from the Greek word "mastigoo" (Lexicon 3146) which means to flog literally or figuratively. This means that correction may not be pleasant at times.
We will read further from verse 8-11.
Hebrews 12:8-11 - "But if you are without chastening of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but grievous; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
"Corrected" in verse 9 comes from the Greek word "paideutes" which means to instruct, correct or chastise.
Looking at verse 10, our earthly fathers chastened us to what was best for them, not necessarily what was best for us, but yet we respected them. God chastens us for OUR profit, for what is BEST for US. God looks after OUR welfare, where most of our parents looked after THEIR welfare or what was CONVENIENT for THEM whether it was best for us or not. This is a form of abuse that most parents if not all parents are guilty of. God does the true job of a parent, which is to look for the welfare of His children and do what is best for His children, not what is best for the parent.
Observing this passage implies is that God teaches, instructs, and corrects us as a father should do to their children. God doesn't beat us then ridicule us. God doesn't beat us then leave us to figure it out. God is specific in His instruction through His word and through His Holy Spirit who dwells in us. We also never experience surprise beatings when we had no knowledge of wrong doing. God deals with us graciously and prudently. We will cover soon how God teaches us and corrects us.
First of all, I want to look at 2 Samuel 24. We see first of all in verse 10 that David KNEW he sinned. Verse 12-15, God allowed David to suffer consequences for his WILFUL DISOBEDIENCE. Then through His grace and mercy in verse 16, He RELENTED the consequences from CAUSING DESTRUCTION. God only gave David what was necessary to teach him and held back the rest. The motive was to TEACH and GUIDE away from DISOBEDIENCE.
God does NOT punish His children, nor does He take His wrath out on them.
2 Peter 2:9 - "then the Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations and to reserve the UNJUST under punishment for the day of judgment."
In this verse, punish has the Greek word "krisis" - decision, justice, accusation, condemnation, damnation, and judgment.
Other accounts for punishment include the following:
Matt 25:46 - "kollourion" - penal infliction, punishment, torment.
2 Cor 10:6 - "ekdikeo" - to vindicate, retaliate, or punish.
2 Thess 1:9 - "dike" - right, justice, judgment, punish, vengeance.
Hebrews 10:29 - "kimoria" - vindication or penalty.
When we see punishment, it is for those who rejected Jesus, and those who removed themselves from His family by their rejection of Christ. We are considered sons, therefore God will not punish us. We ought not to punish our children either. There is a difference between chastening and punishing. I will cover that in another post.
God does NOT deal with us with wrath.
1 Thess 5:9-10 - "For God did NOT APPOINT us to WRATH, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him."
Wrath is "Ogre" in Greek (Lexicon 3709) - desire, violent passion, punishment: anger,indignation, vengeance, wrath.
There are many other scriptures with "wrath" (ogre) in it. This includes the following: 1 Thess 1:10, John 3:36, Romans 1:18, Romans 5:9, Ephesians 5:2, Colossians 3:6, Rev 6:16-17, Rev 11:18, Rev 16:19, Rev 19:17.
All of these clearly show that wrath is only for those who rejected Jesus. Wrath is NOT for God's children.
This indicates that God will not take His wrath out on us, and He will not deal with us in anger. The Bible is also clear that dealing with children with anger is a sin and it is abuse.
God also deals with us with grace and mercy.
1 Peter 2:24 - "...who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness -- by whose stripes you were healed."
We see that Jesus took on our sins and paid the punishment for us. He forgave us, and gave us a clean slate. When we choose to not forgive our children and leave their sins hanging on them, that is abuse. Not forgiving our children is abuse. We deal with the issue in a way that will teach them and encourage righteousness, then drop it and NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN. Bringing up the issue after that is ABUSE. Our job is not to punish, because Jesus took our punishment. Our job is to do what is necessary to teach them and to correct wilful disobedience and sin, to encourage righteousness and obedience to God's word, and correct our children in a way that looks out for the best for them. That is how God deals with us.
God is love. His greatest demonstration of love is giving His only begotten Son to die for us on the cross (see John 3:16). When we read 1 Cor 13, we see that anything done without love is meaningless. We must deal with our children in love no matter what they have done. When love is absent, abuse is present. It may be hard at the moment when our child does wrong, but even then, we must deal with them with love, and deal with them in a way that is effective to teach them. We must NOT deal with them in ANGER.
James 1:19-20 - "Therefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; FOR THE WRATH OF MAN DOES NOT PRODUCE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD."
There is a lot of information here. When you witness a church or pastor saying that it is Biblical to abuse children, please feel free to share this information with them. I hope this can help put things in better perspective in how we deal with children.
My next post will contrast between punishment and correction. You may find that useful also.
God bless you, and my prayers are with you.
Rodney Calmes
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