It is Not Your Fault if You Have Been Abused, You Have Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

You have nothing to be ashamed of, do not be afraid to talk about what you went through or even cry, that is part of healing. You need to accept that is a part of your past and don't try to hide it. Remember that God loves you, and what others have done to you, they have done to a child of God. Do not keep reliving your past, but accept it and move on, and try to encourage others to be survivors.

Have you ever been abused, and had someone tell you that you deserved it, or it was your fault, or your work is not good enough, or that you caused the abuser to abuse you? Have you ever thought these things yourself?

Many has been abused at different levels at different times in our lives. Remember this: You had no control of what others have done to you. It is not your fault if you have been abused. You may have done things that required discipline, but how others handled that is not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you because you have been through this. There is something wrong with those who treated you cruelly. You are not accountable for what others did to you, but they will be accountable for what they did, and you will be accountable for what you do to others. There are many emotional hurts along with physical scars left behind. The only way to overcome is is to understand what happened to you and not try to hide it, then forgive those who have done it to you and trust that God will work all things for good, even if you do not understand why or how He will do it. After you have trusted in God and forgave the people who have done it to you and accepted your past, He will later on show you how He can work it for good.
    
No one is perfect, we all have misbehaved, got crabby, or done other things that could have offended someone. Under n o condition is it right to abuse another person under any circumstance! You did not deserve the abuse! You did not cause the abuser to abuse you, that person made their own choice to abuse you. It was not your fault that you were abused! Here is an example of that: When I was 9 years old, I misbehaved in school, so discipline was needed. The principal decided to grab my ear lobe and twist it and pull me into his office. That was the worst pain I ever felt in my life. I felt the inner ear pulling as a result of that and I ended up testing my ear to see if I still had hearing in it after that. I was lucky that I still had my hearing, and my ear lobe did not get torn off. It was wrong for the principal to do that to me, and it was not my fault that he chose to do that to me. That was the principal’s fault. There were other ways that my misbehavior could have been dealt with. Just like you may have misbehaved as a child, it was not your fault that your caretaker decided to abuse you, that was the caretaker’s choice and it was their fault. There is nothing wrong with you because you have been abused, there is something wrong with the abuser.          

Many times when we are abused, the abuser makes us think that we are worthless, no good, useless, stupid, dumb, etc. None of that is true. You are not worthless, you are not useless, you are not stupid, or dumb. God has created you in His image, and you are precious to him and God loves you. You are so precious to God that He died for you to forgive every sin you have ever committed if you put your faith and trust in Him. God created you with the knowledge He gave you and He created you with the talents He gave you. If you use the knowledge and talents He gave you to the best of your abilities, God is pleased with that. If others are not pleased with that or it is not good enough for them, then it is like saying God is not good enough. The insults poured on you as a result is also pouring insults on God. You did not deserve the insults, nor was it right for others to expect more of you than what you are capable of doing. They will have to answer to God for that, not you! Those who cannot appreciate you does not deserve you! When you have love, kindness and compassion on others and make that your goal, you have proven yourself to be much better than your abusers, because those who abused you has proven that they lack in love, kindness, and compassion. You love, kindness, and compassion are the things that make you the person you are, and if you have these things in your heart, you are a great person, and praise God for putting these things in your heart.          

You have nothing to be ashamed of, do not be afraid to talk about what you went through or even cry, that is part of healing. You need to accept that is a part of your past and don't try to hide it. Remember that God loves you, and what others have done to you, they have done to a child of God. Do not keep reliving your past, but accept it and move on, and try to encourage others to be survivors.
    
Never let anyone tell you that it was your fault that you were abused! Never let anyone tell you that you deserved it, or that it served you right! Never let anyone tell you that you caused them to abuse you! None of these things are true!

God Bless,
Rodney Calmes