How True Science Proves The Bible, Looking At The Biblical Model For Bringing Up Children

How True Science Proves The Bible, Looking At The Biblical Model For Bringing Up Children

Ross Greene has said "kids act out because the don't have the skills to meet their expectations".  He goes on to state that we need to teach them the skills to meet their expectations and they will do better.

One of my pastors has said in his sermon "It is cruel and unloving to tell a person to be righteous!".  He goes on to say "If we teach them that our righteousness comes from Jesus and what He has done on the cross, and that we obtain our righteousness through faith in Him, that is loving and kind!".

The pastor in general was saying that it is cruel and unloving to place an expectation on someone without giving them the means to meet it.  It is loving and kind to give a person the means and what is needed to meet their expectations. (Those means of obtaining righteousness is through the gospel.)

Too many times parents place expectations on children that the children have no means, skills, or knowledge to meet, and are often punished for not meeting them. This is the American way.

The Bible says to bring up children in the way of the Lord, which is through the gospel.  Teaching them and guiding them.  Placing expectations on them based on what they are taught and have the skills to meet. Doing this with respect for their boundaries and teaching them to respect our boundaries, and the guidelines of the Bible, and allowing them to face the consequences when those boundaries are crossed or the Bible is disobeyed.

Model 1: The American way - leave a child to themselves.  When the do something that irritates you, spank them, shame them and revile them, then tell them that the behavior is not acceptable.  This is called Behavior Modification, which was based on traditional psycology, and defies the Bible.

Model 2: The Biblical model - Connect with your children.  Love them.  Teach them, guide them.  When they do something that you didn't desire from them ask yourself "what lead them to that behavior?  Did they have the skills or knowledge on a better way of handling the situation?  Were they ever taught?". Talk to them, and collaborate with them with Biblical guidance on how the situation could have been handled in a better way.  Allow them to speak and allow them to try to figure it out with your guidance through it.  This will help with problem solving skills.   Once they are taught, and know a better way, but yet wilfully crossed the line, then allow them to face the consequences.

Also understand that discipline does not involve any of the following:

Anger - "the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God" James 1:20

Reviling - "no reviler shall inheret the kingdom of  God." See 1 Cor. 6:10

Violence or wrath - Eph. 6:4 - "Fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

Discipline involves teaching, guiding, and training in righteousness through the gospel of Christ and through the scriptures, and allowing consequences that will build them up and encourage righteousness when they cross the line.

Kids will naturally follow our example, if we show them a poor example, they will follow.  Our best way of leading is by example.   Show them the example of Jesus, and kids will follow.  See Proverbs 22:6 - "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he shall not depart from it."

Also know that the greatest attribute is love.  Without love, everything is meaningless. See 1 Cor. 13

Rodney Calmes