WHY WE SHOULD STICK TO BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES WHEN DISCIPLINING CHILDREN by Rodney Calmes

WHY WE SHOULD STICK TO BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES WHEN DISCIPLINING CHILDREN

Biblical correction involves using an instruction, guidance and encouragement to do right, but does not do damage. Biblical correction can allow consequences for willful wrong doing. See my notes or docs “What is Discipline, What is Abuse” and “What Can Happen If We Use ‘Common’ Forms of Discipline (or Abuse) That is Not Biblical”.
Sometimes people stray from the Bible and use harsh punishments. There is always a consequence for that. The Bible respects a child’s body. Using harsher and blunt instruments does not respect a child’s body. There may not have been any records of medical conditions from getting hit on the buttocks too many times, but there has been some physical consequences of that. Here are some of them:

1. Blunt instruments like hard sticks and paddles damage the deeper tissues, damages nerve endings, and causes a decrease in sensitivity if it is done often. In my case of being spanked with a large stick until I could no longer feel the stick hitting me, I had that happen often by my grandparents. When I was getting “normal” spankings from school, and at home, It did not hurt, and I did not respond like other kids. When other kids would be flinching, jumping and crying, it had no effect on me. I would feel it, but it would not hurt, and would not produce repentance. When I was 15, another kid horsing around took a paddle and hit my bottom and it broke, and I never flinched and he looked at me funny, and noticed that I never flinched, and he asked if it hurt, and I told him that it did not. I realize from too many harsh spankings, my sensitivity has greatly decreased, and Biblical spankings after then would not be effective. Just like a tool that gets abused becomes useless when you want to use it for proper use.

2. The deeper tissues that get damaged causes scar tissues to form under the skin. The skin is more resistant to damage than the soft tissues under the skin. Blunt objects damage these soft tissues, and when tissues get damaged, they heal into scar tissue, which further blocks off nerve endings, and if done enough times, it shows through the skin, leaving a permanent discoloration which is a slight brownish, reddish color. It is noticeable, but many would think nothing of it if it were not pointed out to them. Doctors and nurses recognize this, and they find if giving a shot that the skin is extra thick and much harder than most of the surrounding skin, along with it being much less sensitive. They also know where that came from. The term “tanning your butt” comes from that. Many use it when they threaten to spank your butt until it is red, but tanning does not come from the temporary redness, or the term “redden” would have been used. The original term for tanning is to say that it becomes tan after you have received enough harsh spankings over the course of a lifetime.

3. Blunt, sudden, heavy force to the buttocks causes a sudden shift in blood flow, which some of it will to into the genitals, and cause an involuntary sexual experience. This can happen to children as well as adolescents and adults. Adolescents and adults are more likely to recall the experience than children, but it can cause a person to have a fetish (S&M). Most people into S&M have had some form of severe spanking in their lifetime.

4. Anytime skin is damaged, ruptured or torn, it leaves permanent scars. Scar tissue does not perform like the original tissue. To prove this, take a pin and lightly poke a scar on your body, then lightly poke an area of normal skin immediately next to the scar, and notice the difference in how it feels.

The above are the physical effects from too many harsh spankings with harsh and blunt instruments. The Bible never promoted that, and even though getting hit on the buttocks never causes strokes, brain damage, ruptured organs, premature arthritis, or any on going disabling medical problems, it does show cosmetic damage and damages nerve endings if it is done repeatedly. That can cause problems later on when you need to use discipline on your children, and even if you continue harsh spankings, they will eventually not produce repentance due to lack of sensitivity.

Severe spankings do not teach a child any more than a harmless spanking that gives them a sting. They will not learn any quicker by getting severe spankings. There are some mental consequences with severe spankings. I will contrast the consequences of severe spankings versus Biblical spankings.

1. Severe punishment causes resentment. Biblical reproof causes repentance.

2. Severe punishment shows lack of respect for the child and degrades them. Biblical correction respects a child, respects a child’s body, and encourages them to do right.

3. Severe punishment shows a lack of love and concern for the child. Biblical guidance shows love and concern for the child.

4. Severe punishment makes a child think that their body is bad or that part of their body is bad, and also makes them think that their person is bad. Biblical correction shows a child that only their sin is bad, but does not give them messages that their body is bad, nor does it make them think that their person is bad, only their sin is bad.

5. Severe punishment discourages a child. Biblical guidance and correction encourages them.

6. Children feel unloved when being severely punished. Children feel loved with Biblical discipline and guidance.

7. Severe punishment creates many emotional hurts. Biblical discipline creates emotionally healthy children.

8. Severe punishment shows wrath and unforgiveness. Biblical discipline and guidance shows grace, mercy, forgiveness and love.

9. Not respecting a child’s body also teaches a child not to respect their own body, and may cause them to be tempted into self harm. Respecting a child’s body teaches them to respect their own bodies, and they are less likely to be tempted to self harm.

10. Severe punishments destroys relationships. Biblical discipline makes stronger relationships.

Not disciplining, guiding and correcting your children in a positive way also has many negative effects. Children can become unruly and end up hating their parents. It is important to teach your children the ways of God, and to keep as much sin out of their lives as possible. Your children will respect you for instructing them properly.



Prov 23:13-14
13 Do not withhold correction from a child,
For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
14 You shall beat him with a rod,
And deliver his soul from hell.
NKJV

Prov 29:15
15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom,
But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
NKJV

The rod has physical and symbolic definitions.  There are children who can be spanked all day and it does nothing for them.  It is best to find something that is the most effective on your children rather than just resorting to spankings.

Prov 29:17
17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest;
Yes, he will give delight to your soul.
NKJV

Prov 22:6
6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.
NKJV

Eph 6:4
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
NKJV

Col 3:21
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
NKJV

By Rodney Calmes