Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child! The Rod Applied In Its Full Definition
Before we misinterpret the rod, let's look at what the rod is in its full definition, and look at the rod verses in Proverbs with its definition written in the verse rather than the word "rod".
The rod in Hebrew is "Shebet" which has 4 definitions:
A scion which is defined as a stick used for grafting. (Grafting from the wild olive tree into the cultivated olive tree - see Romans 11) - thus being grafted into Christ.
A stick, or shepherd's rod. Typically, shepherds used their rods to gently guide their sheep. Thus provided guidance, which includes gentle teaching and correction. Gal 6:1 - "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted."
A stick or shepherd's rod. Shepherds also used their rods to fight off wolves with the purpose of protecting their sheep - thus offering protection.
A scepter - which is a staff of a king thus, we have been given the authority and responsibility to teach, guide, correct, and protect our children. We have also been given the responsibility of watching over our children and grafting them into Christ.
Discipline comes from the word disciple. In Hebrew, it means to correct, teach, and lead. Correct in Hebrew also carries the same definition.
Folly or foolishness in Hebrew is a lack of good sense, prudence, or knowledge. This means that they need to be taught and guided.
Rebuke in Proverbs 29:15 in Hebrew means mild rebuke or mild reproof or admonition. Thus giving correction in a spirit of gentleness as stated in Galatians 6:1.
Here are the rod verses with its definitions substituted for the words.
Proverbs 13:24 - He who spares his charge to provide protection, guidance, teaching, and correction that leads him to Jesus, hates his son, But he who loves him leads him, teaches him and corrects him promptly.
Proverbs 22:15 - Lack of knowledge, good sense and prudence is bound up in the heart of a child, but guidance, teaching and correction will drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13-14 - Do not withhold teaching, correction and leadership from a child. If you gently prod him with guidance, teaching and correction that leads him to Jesus and protect your child, he will not die. If you gently prod him with guidance, teaching and correction that leads him to Jesus and protect your child, you will save his soul from death.
Proverbs 29:15 - Guidance, teaching, correction that leads a child to Jesus along with mild rebuke or admonition done in a gentle manner gives wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Other supporting verses:
Proverbs 15:1 - "A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger."
Ephesians 6:4 - "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."
Colossians 3:21 - "Fathers do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged."
Another note to keep in mind:
Proverbs 22:6 does not say "If you beat your child for the things they shouldn't do, when they are old, they won't do those things!". This is our American model for bringing up children. Here is what Proverbs 22:6 says:
Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it."
As we analyze Proverbs 22:6, we see that we ought to teach them the way they SHOULD go. Thus, not only teaching them with our mouths, but also leading them by our example which should model Jesus Christ with the grace and mercy He bestows on us. We ought to bestow grace and mercy on our children as well.
If we show an example of violence, reviling, anger and wrath towards our children, they will learn violence, anger and wrath and learn to use violence and reviling on others to solve their problems. If we lead them with love, compassion, grace and mercy of Jesus, they will learn that and show the same towards others.
If you were brought up with reviling, wrath, anger, and violence, do not model that. Turn from it. I will pray for your healing, and know that Jesus is not violent, angry, and reviling. Jesus is kind, loving, and compassionate with grace and mercy. He gave Himself up for you by dying on a cross so that all of your sins have been forgiven. That is how much He loves you and treasures you. He is also risen from the dead to prepare a place in heaven for you if you put your faith in Him and turn to Jesus.
I will be praying for you. I hope this sheds light on the biblical perspective on bringing up children.
Rodney Calmes
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