In my past posts, I have covered a lot about spanking. I will not have a lot of coverage on that in this post. I will cover more of the faults of the general Old School Model.
What is Old School?
It is an adversarial and punitive model in which the parents impose their will or try to control their children without allowing their children to be heard. It is also often done based on the parents erroneous perception of what is going on based on their lack of information and forcing their children to conform to that.
Why is this wrong?
1. We may understand the sinful nature of the flesh, but we often focus on that rather than focusing on the Holy Spirit and the good that the person can do in the Spirit. Therefore, we are focusing on the negative rather than encouraging the positive or encouraging the work of the Spirit.
2. Children are not heard. James 1:19-20 - "Therefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." We are being commanded to hear our children. Hearing them can help us make more informed solutions to solve the problems.
3. Our will is imposed on them through adversarial and punitive means. Hebrews 12:10 - "For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness." Our parents chastened us and punished us to impose their will based on their own interests rather than what is best for us. God works for what is best for us. This is what our parenting system is guilty of.
4. Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in a way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Old School doesn't train. It doesn't teach a child ways to solve problems, but it only focuses on outward behaviors and punishing them rather than figuring out the root problems and teaching them solutions and ways of dealing with them. Punishing a kid without teaching them solutions is very discouraging to them, and leads to more problems.
5. Old School hinders communication. When children are not heard and parents impose their will on their children, it creates conflict and causes rebellion rather than teamwork and good communication and problem solving skills.
6. Old School does not promote kindness, compassion or empathy, but it promotes using violence to gain power and control and fear, which is not love. 1 John 4:18 - "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."
I have watched "Day 1, Ross Greene", which he doesn't quote scripture, but found a method that works and has decreased juvenile detention greatly in the state of Maine. His method has scriptural support. Every person needs to be handled in a godly way whether they are children or adults.
See www.echoparenting.org
See also www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSDAqRnk-qY
Rodney Calmes
No comments:
Post a Comment