Repentance Can Go A Long Way, Reverse Repentance Can Do More Damage Than If There Were No Repentance
After I have lived with my grandparents, I lived with my mother and step dad. My mother married my dad's brother. At first, I got hit on my hands with a stick one time. I was also hit in the head once also. My mother addressed that and told him that if he was going to hit us to hit us on the butt. I was spanked with a stick and when I had to pull my pants down and get spanked with a stick, my mother addressed that too.
My step dad took parenting classes and learned that the way he was treating us was wrong. He repented and he changed his ways. I was able to overlook the bad things he has done and I had a great deal of respect for him for the changes he has made. I understand how he was raised because I lived with my grandparents and I got spanked with a stick by them until I could no longer feel that stick hitting my butt. My grandparents gave spankings like that for every little thing.
I was very happy at home after my step dad took parenting classes. He treated me like I was his very own. I ended up calling him dad. He was a very good father figure to me. At that time I felt very loved at home.
When I was 19, my mother and step dad got divorced. My step dad started to date other women. He spent a lot less time with me and my brother. I lived with him when I was going to college and sometimes would not see him for days. He met a woman with a child and the woman and her child ended up living with us. The child did not like a lot of foods. The child had trouble eating foods that he did not like.
My step dad came up with a solution. Supper time would be at 5pm. We all ate at that time. When we were done eating, the timer came out and was set for 10 minutes. If the kid did not have his food finished, my step dad made him pull his pants down and spanked his bare butt. The timer got set for another 10 minutes and then another bare butt spanking. This would go on until bedtime at 8:30. When bedtime came, he was force fed and if he gagged or any food came out of his mouth, my step dad swatted him in the head hard enough where his head hit the table. This went on for many months. I was greatly disheartened watching this. I realized that my step dad did not care about the fact that what he was doing was wrong. I also realized that had my mother not gotten in the way, I would have been treated the same way regardless if it was right or wrong. I could not concentrate on my homework and became depressed. I did poorly in college because of that and I ended up getting kicked out. I feel after seeing the way that the kid was being treated that I would have been better off if I were treated like that than to see the false repentance. I lost a lot of respect for my step dad because of that and was deeply hurt.
After that, he met another woman and marries her. He gives me a note asking me not to call him dad any more. That was icing on the cake. It felt like a death in the family. I was 29 when I received that letter. It took a long time to get through that.
He now divorced that woman and got back together with my mother and now he shows remorse, but can I trust that after what I saw? What if something happens to my mother? I will never again call him dad. I can't feel that he is real. I would have been better off if he never repented than to see this unfold. I get along with him and I do not hate him, but it is very hard for me to trust him.
Rodney Calmes
