Accepting The Things That Happened To Us Is Wrong May Be More Difficult But It Is The Best For Us In The Long Run

It may be easier to convince ourselves that we either deserved the abuse or that some how the abuse we got was right for ourselves. This type of thinking may make us feel better that we got treated the way we did. You will find that whatever reasons you use to justify the abuse you got will also be carried out on others when they do the same things.

It is more painful to accept that what happened to us is wrong. It hurts to know that we were wronged and abused. We have to accept that if we want to break the cycle. If you do not want to abuse your kids, then it is necessary for you to accept that you were abused and accept that all abuse is wrong, even the abuse that happened to you.

If any one of you are struggling with this, I would like to pray for you.

Rodney Calmes

Those Who Tear You Down Are Doing The Work Of The Devil

Anyone who makes you feel any less than a precious and special person has told you lies. Anyone who has not loved you has sinned. Anyone who has made you feel worthless has done the work of the devil. You are a very special, loved, and valuable person. God has given you potential to make big differences in the lives of many people. Trust God with your life and He will work in you and cause many great things to happen from someone like you.

Rodney J Calmes

You Are A Much Better Person Than Those Who Mistreated You

For those who have bullied you, abused you or mistreated you because they cannot accept you for who you are has already proven who they are by the things that they have done to you. When you have love, kindness and compassion on others, your qualities have proven to be much better than those who mistreated you. Those who mistreated you has proven that they lacked love, kindness and compassion, which are the greatest qualities a person can have.

You stand far above those who mistreated you. Those who mistreated you do not deserve you. Your qualities of love, kindness and compassion out weighs any cruel thing a person can do to you. It proves you to be the greater person.

Put on love, kindness and compassion and that will prove just how great you are.

Rodney Calmes

Convincing Yourself That You Deserved The Abuse Is Destructive

I have tried to convince myself that I deserved to be abused. I tried to figure out a way that I deserved it and no one else does. I never wanted to see another person be abused, so I tried to convince myself that I was more rotten than anyone else. This has caused me to feel worthless and useless. I have convinced myself that I do not deserve to be considered a person. This is what I tried to do to help make myself feel better that I got mistreated and abused and bullied. This type of thinking does not heal, it destroys you. Many of you may have thought like this. If any one of you have ever struggled with this or are struggling, I would like to pray for you.

Rodney Calmes

Forgiveness Is Not Justifying A Wrong And It Is Not Denying A Wrong

When we try to justify the abuse we got, that is not forgiveness. Justifying the abuse we got leads us to abuse others. It will not heal us.

When we deny the abuse we got, that is like shoving dirt over a wound to cover it up, which will fester and cause more problems. Denial is not forgiveness, denial will not heal us.

Forgiveness is accepting that what happened to us is wrong, but choosing to not hold any grudges against the person. It is choosing not to have bitter feelings towards the person. It is a choice to let go of the past. It does not mean trusting the person or setting your self up for further abuse. It does not mean coming into that person's life again. It just means not holding anything against the person. Forgiveness is the start of the healing process. Healing cannot happen without forgiveness.

Rodney Calmes

Every Person Is Responsible To Research And Do What Is Right. There Is No Excuse For Abuse.

Each person is responsible before God to research the Bible for what is right and what is wrong. No one can be justified for abuse. I may have been spanked with a large hardwood stick. It may have been a common practice by the majority at that time. The church may have endorsed it. It may have been tradition, but it does not make it right. The Bible has never endorsed spanking with hardwood sticks. The Bible has never endorsed s shedding blood on children even though many churches may have taught that.

The Bible does talk about using the rod to spank children with, but the Hebrew for rod is a fresh shoot which is light and flexible, stings but does no damage.

The Bible talks about no remission for sin except for the shedding of blood, but that applies to the blood of Jesus who died for our sins for once and for all. It even says that there is no more sacrifice for sin, all sins have already been paid for. It does not apply to shedding blood on children. Shedding blood on children is not found in the Bible.

You are all responsible to research what is right on how we handle children no matter what tradition is, no matter what you have been taught. Every person is responsible to rise above that.

There is no excuse for abuse. Abuse cannot be justified. Abuse is wrong no matter when it happened. Abuse is wrong no matter what everyone else does. Abuse is wrong no matter how you have been treated.

If you were brought up with abuse, unlearn what you were taught and were brought up with and relearn what is right.

Rodney Calmes

This Is What Can Happen If A Child Is Abused Even If It Is Only Once

I recently whipped my butt with a car antenna until it was very well swollen and bruised. I had a flashback of when I was 7 when I had to pull my pants down and bend over with my hands on the bench and get spanked with a 2x4 on my bare butt. I remember the incident vividly and I also remember the adrenaline rush that I had from it. It was very similar to the adrenaline rush I experienced on my recent event. I believe that this event was the event that triggered my desires to get spanked that I had since I was 8.
This is the long term effect that abusive spankings can have on a person.

Rodney Calmes

Too Many Harsh Spankings Done On A Regular Basis Can Become Ineffective And Painless

Many parents tried to teach their children by giving them severe spankings. I have been spanked with a 1x2 stick. Sticks and large paddles are the worst things that you can use. They do much damage to the deeper tissues and nerve endings which heal into scar tissue. With enough spankings like that done on a regular basis, the skin becomes permanently discolored (a tannish reddish color) and very resistant to bruising along with a lack of sensitivity to pain on the butt. I can tell you that from experience. I was goofing around and it got carried away and I got a swat on my butt with a 1x2 hardwood stick and the stick shattered. I never flinched and it did not hurt. My friend was very puzzled by that. This is what you are doing to children when you spank them with blunt objects like that. I have also liked getting spanked since I was 8, which made it a reward instead of a punishment. Think about this before using blunt objects to spank your kids. In the long run, it will be more harmful. It creates long term emotional harm as well. You don't have to do physical damage and put your kids through excruciating pain to teach them. I have learned to be fearful of people from the abuse and bullying I went through. It took a long time to overcome that. The Bible promotes spankings, but not with blunt objects, only with lighter objects that produces a sting, not excruciating pain and physical damage.

Rodney Calmes

A Legal Declaration I Have to Make to Prevent Any Further Lawsuits

A Legal Declaration I Have to Make to Prevent Any Further Lawsuits

I legally have to declare very clearly that in the picture that someone has posted in my name approximately 2 years ago of my scarred butt against my will that those scars did not come from my grandparents nor did it come from any one else in my family. Some of you may have seen it from "Dorothy Vankampen", some my have seen it under "Adrienne Calmes" on Twitter or Google. That picture has also been posted on various internet accounts that were opened in my name. Someone took a picture of me changing clothes and posted all over the internet. He got a $300.00 fine. After he got his fine, that picture is legally no longer his responsibility, now it became mine because it is a picture of me. I also have to make these declarations where ever that picture is. I also have to legally declare where those scars came from. They came from me consenting to getting whipped as an adult as a result of my involvement with BDSM (Sadomasochism).

I have written in my previous stories that any scars my grandparents left would not be noticeable by others unless they were pointed out. I mentioned sitting on a heater when I was drunk, but anyone who saw that picture, those scars are very obvious and it is obvious that it did not come from a heater. It was my legal obligation to declare this to prevent any further trouble.

Rodney Calmes

A Very Common Form Of Abuse That People Don't Think Of As Abuse

A Very Common Form Of Abuse That People Don't Think Of As Abuse:

This type of abuse usually occurs in divorce situations. Children become pawns as one parent uses them to carry out revenge against the other parent. They turn their children against the other parent by sitting their children down and bad mouthing the other parent. The children believe them. Then the children go to the other parent's house and the other parent bad mouths the one parent. This is abuse whether you like it or not. I, myself grew up with that.

The effects it had was that I ended up confused. It takes away from the love parents are supposed to have on their children. I felt that I had no one to look up to. I, later on started to look up to my maternal grandparents. I have learned to trust them more than my own parents. It is very difficult to trust and look up to parents who are bashing each other or even trust them. A child's up bringing is their foundation and when parents try to turn their children against each other, that tears down the child's foundation. The children have no one to look up to. It also makes a child feel alone and isolated. If a parent truly loves their children, they will not do things like this to them.

Rodney Calmes

Did I Choose This?

Did I Choose This?

When I was growing up, I was spanked with a stick until I could no longer feel that stick hitting my butt. Those became very painful memories for me. Why were these such painful memories when I desired to be spanked like that starting at age 8? Why did I desire that? Why did I go through adolescence thinking about and fantasizing about being spanked? I did not understand. I wanted to be "normal". I did not want to be like that. I was ashamed of who I am. I thought there was something wrong with me.

I spanked myself many times and consented to being whipped leaving many huge scars. I asked God to take these desires away from me, He did not. God had something to teach me from this. I searched the Bible through and through and found nothing in it that dealt with these desires. The Bible taught me that anything consentual between husband and wife was ok except for Sodomy. I researched the laws and found that anything consentual between 2 adults was legal. In psychology they call it an alternative lifestyle, not a disorder. I could not find anything that said it was wrong.

Based on my research on this, I have found that those desires came from the severe spankings I took as a child. Those spankings have triggered involuntary sexual experiences that I did not recall having. I recall having those when I spanked myself. I realize that I would have never had those desires if I had not been spanked severely as a child.

I now know that those desires are a part of me. It is a part of who I am today. God taught me that if the Bible does not condemn it as a sin, it is ok to embrace it. God taught me to accept myself for who I am and I only need to repent of any known sin. I was taught through this not to judge others but to accept their differences. I was also taught to restore others and approach them gently of sin rather than being judgmental and condemning. If their differences are not sinful then accept them for who they are and accept their differences. I realize now that through this God has made me a better person.

This is for everyone. Those who have never desired spankings may not understand this. I am writing this for everyone to be more understanding and accepting of others no matter who they are and what they like.

God bless you
Rodney Calmes