To Find Healing, We Must Get to the Roots of our Problems
When we have Issues in life, we must get to the root of these issues. Whether these issues are emotional hurts from past abuse, negative thoughts about ourselves, self destructive behaviors, or other issues we may have. Just like you cannot kill a weed by killing the body itself, you must kill its roots, or the weed comes back.
We may carry emotional hurts. We may have issues with depression. What is causing these hurts? Why are we depressed? Is it a pattern we have established from being continually hurt?
What about negative thoughts about ourselves? I may think I am stupid. I may think I am a bad person, or I am a worthless person. I don‘t deserve to be loved comes to mind, or it is not right for someone to be kind to me. May be I should not be here, I would be better off dead. I was an accident. I wish I was never born, etc. Where do these thoughts come from? Why do you have negative thoughts about yourself, where did they come from? Who taught those to us? How often were we taught these things? What kind of degrading things were done to us to make us think things like this? Were you bullied? Were you abused? Were these things told to us? How often did these things happen? How long?
How about self destructive behavior? How do you feel about yourself? What is going through your mind when you are about to harm yourself? What went through your mind when you harmed yourself the first time? Are you harming yourself in any old place? Are you harming yourself in a specific place? Why that specific place? Were you told you had a bad part of your body? Was your body not respected when you were punished? Were you as a person being degraded, rather than just the sin? Were you told there was something wrong with you?
Think about all these things. All problems must be solved by getting to the roots and killing the bad roots. How do we kill those roots?
1. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Surrender to His Lordship. Give all your thoughts and struggles to God, vent to God. Also confess your struggles to one another, and any known sin as well, so that they may pray for you.
James 5:16
16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
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Prov 15:29
29 The Lord is far from the wicked,
But He hears the prayer of the righteous.
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2. Let God lead you, be in His word. It is by reading the Bible that God will lead you.
2 Tim 3:16-4:1
16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
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3. God has forgiven you of all your sins by dying on a cross for you. No one person can sin against you as much as you sinned against God. Forgive all who wronged you. You will find that much of those hurts will be released and you will find freedom through forgiveness.
Matt 6:14-15
14 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
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Matt 18:22-35
22 Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. 23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. 28 "But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!' 29 So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' 30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you no also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' 34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
35 "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from
his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."
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Eph 4:32
32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
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4. Repent of any known sin. Whether you have done something bad to those who bullied you or abused you, whether you are repeating the sins committed against you toward others. Example: I was bullied a lot by kids in school, but I now have someone at work that has poor work ethic, so my co workers call him “f*** the dog”. Am I participating in that? Am I laughing with the guys when they call him that? Did I start that name? Whether it is done with him present, or in his absence, how did I feel when others ridiculed me and made fun of me? Your hurts may resurface when you find yourself doing that to others. Repent of those sins, turn from them. You may be going through those hurts because you are doing the same thing to someone else. Repent and turn from that. Treat others how you would like to be treated. If your sin is causing those hurts, when you repent, you will be free from them. God will set you free.
5. Know that God will work all things for good. Trust Him. You may not understand why you were abused or bullied, but God will work it out for good. You may not understand what kind of good can happen from that, but you have to trust in God, and later on, it will be shown to you. I would not be running this page or group had I not been abused or bullied by others. I would not be able to encourage people if I had not gone through the things I have gone through. I share my testimony to show you that God can work it out for good. You first have to put complete faith and trust in Him. What God promises in His word, He keeps.
Rom 8:28-30
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who
love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed
to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many
brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called;
whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified,
these He also glorified.
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6. At this point, we may have found emotional healing, and we have trusted God, but we must now unlearn all negative things that we have been taught about ourselves as a result of the abuse and bullying we went through, and we must come to accept ourselves as a person, accept who God created us to be, and relearn how God sees us as a person. I have posted a doc or note “How God Sees You as a Person”, along with many others. I had to unlearn all the negative thoughts about myself and relearn what God’s word teaches me about myself.
7. God created you to be loved, and it is not right for you not to be loved. Anyone who has not loved you the way God loved you, has not only sinned against you, but what they have done to you, they have done to God. It is right for you to be loved. It is right for people to be kind to you. Accept love, and accept kindness. It may be hard or seem awkward, because many have been cruel to you. It may make you cry when someone is kind to you, but it is right for you to receive love and kindness. Do not shy away from that, you need it. See Matt 25:31-46.
8. Show love, compassion and kindness toward others. Your love, kindness, and compassion will go a long way. You will feel blessed when you make it your goal to love and be kind to another person. You will also find that you will have a great impact in many lives as a result of your love, kindness and compassion.
John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I
have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will
know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.
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9. Accept yourself for who you are today. God did not intend for you to be the person you would have been had you not gone through these things in your life, or He would have not allowed you to go through these things. God wants you to be the person you are today. When you have gone through these steps, you will find that you are blessed and loved for who you are.
10. Go out and minister to others. Help others. Allow your life to be God centered and put others first, you will find yourself being blessed as a result. The world may teach you to put yourself first, but you will only find misery. If you put God first, then others, you will find many blessings.
Conclusion: The general root to all of your problems is sin. It may be sins committed against us, which we need to forgive and let go of the bitterness to be healed. Our own sins can cause problems in our life. We must repent and turn from them. God will forgive us when we repent, and He will restore us. God has already forgiven them by dying on a cross for them. Accept His forgiveness and forgive others the way He forgave us. You will find much healing from that.
God Bless,
Rodney Calmes
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Support For Those Who Have Been Abused Or Bullied