Many times when we talk about abuse, we often find that our families like to deny the abuse, especially if the abuse took place in our families. They may deny the abuse and try to convince you to believe that it never happened, they may call you a liar, and ridicule you for it. Many times they do not want to accept the sins that were committed against you, and they do not want to accept responsibility for it. The ones that realize the abuse took place, may admit it, but then it creates a war between the ones who admitted it and the ones that denied it. Time may pass by since you have shared the abuse you went through and they may not talk about it anymore, but they may hold you as a target and find other faults against you for every little insignificant thing. They may hold grudges against you. If you have experienced any of this, do not allow your family to persuade your beliefs of what happened to you. What happened to you is what happened to you, do not let them let you believe that it never happened. Do not let them intimidate you. They may alienate you, or make you feel that there is something wrong with you, or that you are the only one who has come up with how you have been treated. Do not let that intimidate you either. You know what happened to you, they do not want to accept it, and you are not nuts because of what they say, there is nothing wrong with you, but they are the ones who have a problem. Stay strong and hang in there. If you have experienced this, we are here to support you.
Facing the truth of your abuse is very difficult, but very necessary. Accepting it, not being ashamed of it, and knowing that it was not your fault of the choices others have made to do mean things to you, then knowing that you are no less of a person because of what someone else did to you. Understand that you did not deserve the abuse and it was not right for someone to abuse you. The main key to healing from abuse after you realized these things is to forgive the abuser. Forgiveness is the main tool needed for healing, without it, you cannot heal. Also remember, God will work all things for good when you see Romans 8:28 as a reference to this. Having faith and trusting in God to do this very thing is the last step in healing, and you will find out how God can use you from what you been through, and that will become a great joy and blessing.
Never be afraid to speak up, or share your story. You may think that you are making the abuser look bad, but they have already made themselves look bad by the things they did to you. The reputation they get is one they deserve. You have nothing to be ashamed of. It is not your fault on how someone else treated you. You will not ruin your reputation for it. The abusers deserve the reputation they have already earned for themselves. Speaking up can save lives and bring awareness so others do not get hurt by them.
By Rodney Calmes
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Support For Those Who Have Been Abused Or Bullied