Never Let Anyone Shut You Up

Never Let Anyone Shut You Up

Many times we face family,  organizations,  friends,  relatives and other people who try to keep us silent.  We share what happened and our families try to convince us that it never happened.   They try to convince us that we are delusional.   They get to know others in our churches and organizations we belong to and convince many of those people that we are liars.   We share about what happened and people tell us that they don't want to hear about it.   People isolated us and no one believes us.  We get accused of lying. 

When we face things like what was stated in the above paragraph,  we feel that we have come face to face with Satan himself.   We become discouraged.   Toxicity has spread to everyone around us and everyone believes their lies.  We end up being revictimized.   This type of abuse is worse than the abuse we originally faced.  Sometimes we feel we have to relocate.   They are so convincing that we start to doubt ourselves.  We feel alone and isolated.   We feel like we are in the Twilight Zone.  

I myself have faced these things.   If I didn't have a pastor who understood things like that,  I would have been kicked out of my church.   My pastor was always on my side.  He prayed for me and was very supportive of me.  I can thank God that I had someone like him.

Never let anyone get you to doubt what happened to you.   Never let anyone silence you.   You know what happened and never let anyone doubt that.   Keep speaking up and allow the world to see the ugliness of abuse. 

Your story will save lives.  Your story brings awareness and may save other people from being abused.   Your story can change the lives of many.   You are not alone.   Your story will also show others that they are not alone.  Don't be silenced.   Never let anyone silence you.   Those who try to silence you are doing a great evil.  They don't love you.   It is best to get around people who love you,  not those who try to destroy you.  You can make a difference by speaking up!

God sees what is going on.   All of their deeds will be exposed.   No one escapes God.  So SPEAK UP!

Rodney Calmes

There Are Things That Are A Part Of Us That May Not Have Been If We Were Never Abused. Accepting Ourselves And Coping With These Are Very Important

There Are Things That Are A Part Of Us That May Not Have Been If We Were Never Abused.  Accepting Ourselves And Coping With These Are Very Important

There are many things that people deal with as a result of abuse.   They may include one or more of the following:  PTSD, depression,  sadomasochism,  anxiety,  OCD, and many other things.   Some things can be changed over time.

   We may find ourselves dealing less with depression and anxiety as we are able to help others who have been through what we have and trusting in God to heal us.  We may also find that PTSD will not change.   We may see someone else being abused and in my case, I would have uncontrollable shaking and would be unable to speak especially if the abuse is the same type I have faced.   Sadomasochism or my desires to get spanked will never change which has been triggered by a severe spanking I took as a child.  

We may not have had some of these things in our lives if we have never been abused.   Some of these things we will have to accept that they will not change.   We have to learn to accept them as a part of us and not be ashamed of it.  Being ashamed of it will only cause us more harm and increase anxiety.  

God may have allowed these things to be a part of us because He has a purpose for that.   I can testify that had I not had spanking desires,  I would have been more judgmental of people.   I would have been legalistic.   I would not have trusted the Bible for my values,  but instead I would have trusted what people considered "normal".  I would have also judged people's differences rather than accept them.  Trust me, I have plead with God to take that away from me but He had better plans and as a result He made me a better person.

Had I not had PTSD, I would not have taken abuse seriously and would have blown it off like a lot of people do.   I would not have cared.  I would never have learn how to cope with it.  PTSD never disappears, but with time and trust in God,  we can learn to cope with it.   Flashbacks is a part of PTSD.   God has helped me by showing me how people's lives were blessed because of what I went through.  God showed me how to think about the lives saved from suicide because of what I went through when I encounter flashbacks.   God showed me how to cope with flashbacks so I can show others. 

Through all this,  God has taught me to accept myself and all parts of me.  God forgives the sin and He helps us to repent and change from our sins.   God has also taught me to accept every part of me that is not sinful.   God has also taught me to accept other people and their differences as well.  (If a person has sin issues, we ought to gently restore them with love and show them their sin.  If those differences are not sin issues, we as Christians ought to openly accept them.) 

I can now say that I am blessed by having gone through the things I have.   I can now say that I am blessed because of the things I deal with as a result of the abuse I went through.  All these things have taught me to accept myself and others with differences and all.  I am blessed because of that.    If you trust God,  you will also be blessed.   I will pray for every one of you. 

Rodney Calmes

Those Who Abuse People Sin Against God And That Person

Those Who Abuse People Sin Against God And That Person

There were many things done to children.   I was spanked with hardwood sticks on my bare butt as a child.   I also experienced getting my ear lobe twisted and pulled, I experienced face slapping,  and swatted in the head.  I also got hit on my hands with a hardwood stick.  I can recall only twice getting hit in the head.  I also can recall many slaps in the face.  Others have been dragged by their hair.   All of these were common punishments.  All of these were sins committed against God and sins committed against those who received these things. 

Many of these punishments were done by parents, grandparents,  teachers, principals, Catholic nuns, etc.  Many times people claim that they are biblical and did it in the name of Jesus.   Those who have done this has sinned in the name of Jesus.   They sinned against you,  they sinned against me, they sinned against others they did these things to and they sinned against God in the name of Jesus.  That is hideous and detestable to God.

No where in the Bible does it ever say to hit anyone in the head.  No where in the Bible does it say to slap anyone in the face.  No where in the Bible does it say to twist and pull anyone's ear.  No where in the Bible does it say to hit anyone in the hands.  No where in the Bible does it say to pull anyone's hair.  All these things can cause serious health problems and lifetime disabilities or even death.   That is hideous to God and that is hideous to those who received these things. 

The Bible does talk about spankings and in the Hebrew it is very clear that the only place to hit is the buttocks only. 

Proverbs 10:13b - but the rod is for the back of him who is void of understanding.

The Hebrew word is the mid section of a person's back.  When a person is standing,  it is the buttocks.   This is very clear.   Hitting anyone anywhere else is a sin.

Proverbs 13:24 - He who spares his rod hates his son; but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. 

The rod in Hebrew is a fresh shoot or twig.  Very flexible and has give.  This is very different than the rod in English.   The original Hebrew is the true meaning of scripture.  These twigs will sting but they will not damage tissues.   Hard objects will damage tissues. 

Using belts, whips, hard sticks,  paddles, and even open hands will damage tissues.   No where in the Bible does it say to use any of these things on children.   Anyone who causes tissue damage or bruising to a child has sinned against the child and sinned against God.   Those who claim that the Bible says to do it sins in the name of Jesus. 

The use of many strokes at one time on a child is also a sin.  See Luke 12:47-48

The use of fresh twigs or equivalent that does not damage tissues with only a few strokes on a child is not a sin.  That is considered discipline. 

Discipline should only be done if there is willful disobedience.   Not for every little thing.   When the child knows that they did wrong then they get disciplined.  Punishing a child for something that they did not know is a sin against the child and a sin against God and discourages a child. 

Discipline without instruction is a sin against the child and a sin against God.  That only discourages a child.   

Taking anger out on children is a hideous sin against the child and a hideous sin against God. 

Colossians 3:21 - Fathers do not provoke your children to anger lest they become discouraged.

Many people have violated the scriptures and have done hideous things to children and committed hideous sins against the child and against God.   Many of them are hierarchy in the church including the Catholic nuns and priests who have done these hideous things in the name of Jesus.   Many parents followed suit and each one of them will be accountable to God for treating His children like that.

If you have experienced these things,  know that God saw that.  God sees every tear and God can heal you.   It is not your fault that others sinned against you and no matter who did these things to you whether a parent or a church leader, it does not represent God.   I will pray for you because hideous things done to us creates many emotional and mental scars.  Some of us have even physical scars or health issues as well.  God will deal with those who abused us.

Rodney Calmes

The Dangers Of Over Spanking

The Dangers Of Spanking

This condition is very common among BDSM, but it is not limited to the BDSM realm.  This also happens when children are over spanked with sticks and paddles especially if they are spanked daily and their butts don't have a chance to heal from their last spanking and this keeps going on for a period of time.  It is nicknamed "Leather Butt Syndrome".

What happens when a person gets "Leather Butt Syndrome", is that the sting from getting spanked greatly decreases even to the point where getting spanked with a stick will not produce a sting.   The bruising will not show except one the outer edges that have not been spanked as much.  There is a permanent tannish reddish color on the area of the butt that took a lot of spankings.  The skin becomes tough. The spankings become ineffective because of creating this condition.   For the parents who were trying to teach their children by over spanking them, it becomes very ineffective when this condition developes and they defeated their purpose. 

A person does not have to be spanked for years in order for "Leather Butt Syndrome" to develop.   This can happen in less than a year of continuous repeated over spanking.  The effects are irreversible.  Even if a person does not get spanked for 5 years after,  they will not get the sting that they once got from spanking.  In my experience,  I got hit on my butt with a hardwood stick and the stick shattered and I still got no sting from it.  This happened a while ago. 

Children who developed this condition usually were over spanked and had "bad cops" for caretakers.  When you combine "bad cops" with over spanking,  this is what happens.  Also there is much emotional problems that develop from that when children are over spanked. 

This condition is more common among adult consentual spankings or BDSM.

This is why it is important to read and study the Bible and research the original meaning by looking at the original Hebrew and Greek root words and following the Bible closely when it comes to correcting kids.  Many times spankings can do absolutely nothing for the child.

In the BDSM realm, it is a good idea to use the safe word when your butt gets numb.  If you keep getting spanked after your butt is numbed, you will accelerate this condition.   Also allow your butt to heal in between spankings. 

Rodney Calmes

Those Who Do Not Repent Will Be Condemned

Those Who Do Not Repent Will Be Condemned

Many of us have been abused by someone in our family.   Abusers do not want to admit to abusing us.  They don't want to accept the damage they have done to us.  They will in turn further abuse us by trying to convince us that the abuse never happened.  They will gather up other family members to side with them.   They isolate us and make us feel like we are crazy.  They are very convincing and try to convince us that our memories are inaccurate.   They get us to doubt ourselves.   This is very hideous in the sight of God. 

Many abusers claim to be Christians.   They think they are going to heaven.  Going to heaven involves accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and REPENTANCE.   Denying sin is not repentance.   Repentance involves accepting the sin and acceping the damage that the sin has caused.  It involves confessing that sin to God and the person they sinned against when possible.   Trying to justify sin, trying to blame us for their sin or trying to make it sound like it was not a big deal is NOT REPENTANCE. 

Every person will stand before God and the truth will be revealed.   No one can fool God.  Those who have not repented will stand condemned.

Luke 13:5 - unless you repent you will all likewise perish.

1 John 1:8-9 - If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  9 If we confess our sins,  He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness.

Those who confess their sins to God and those they sinned against and turn from them and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior will be forgiven of all sin and will be in Heaven.

Rodney Calmes