Monday, November 25, 2013

What Happens When A Person Is Spanked Too Harshly Too Often

What Happens When A Person Is Spanked Too Harshly Too Often

I am now 42 years old.  This is a sample of what can happen when a person is spanked repeatedly with harsh objects.  This picture was taken after not getting spanked for a long time.  The whiter area of skin on the top right hand corner of the picture is the area that has not been spanked.  The darker area is the area that has been spanked with sticks repeatedly and often.  The darker area is very tough is very insensitive to pain and even very harsh spanking with not sting that area. The whiter area is very tender and sensitive to pain. 

This condition is permanent and irreversible.  It may only be a cosmetic thing. When people think that giving very harsh spankings to very young children think that they are going to teach them, that will only work for a while.  After getting enough spankings like that where a condition like this develops, that harsh spanking is not producing the sting that you are trying to use to teach them. 
This kind of condition is found on 2 types of people.  One are those who are involved with BDSM and the other are those who were spanked with large sticks or paddles as children where they were getting it for every knit picky little thing. 

This picture is a blurry picture and it was cropped just to be enough to show the skin samples for this illustration.  It was taken this morning 11/25/2013.  This does not happen with just one harsh spanking.  This happens with repeated harsh spankings over a period of time. 
Most people have not been spanked to this degree as children,  but there are some that have. 
Whenever a kid gets spanked with harsh instruments,  the softer tissues under the skin gets damaged and it heals into scar tissue which blocks off nerve endings and with enough times as more and more scar tissue builds up under the skin,  it will show through the skin.
This is why it is important to look for what is best for the child rather than just resorting to spanking.
What you see here are the physical effects of what abuse can do.  There is no way of posting a picture of the emotional and mental harm caused by abuse.
I hope that posting this that people who see what can happen to their children when they choose to abuse them.  If this prevents one child from being abused, it is well worth posting this.

Rodney Calmes

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

When Repeatedly Exposed To Pain, We Build Resistance To Pain And Further Damage Both Physically And Mentally

When Repeatedly Exposed To Pain , We Build Resistance To Pain And Further Damage Both Physically And Mentally

In my past posts,  I have talked about repeated over spanking causing a physical resistance to damage and pain.   This can get to a point where getting spanked with a stick does not hurt and no bruises show because of getting spanked so many times in the past,  our bodies built up our skin along with the nerve endings and soft tissue damage under the skin healing into scar tissue which is tough.  This is a part of our physical body's design that when it is going to be afflicted in one area regularly that it builds itself up to resist further damage.  Our emotions work the same way.

What we have been cut down, made fun of,  ridiculed,  and had mean things done to us repeatedly and often, we built mental calluses just like our physical bodies do and we eventually no longer feel the pain from the mean things done to us.  It can eventually lead us not to feel.  For a while I was called "Robot Rod" because I lost my ability to feel by the time I got to high school.   It was only God who restored my emotions. 

I can say from a personal experience that because of the frequency of spankings I took either at home or school,  things did not seem right when I stopped getting spanked,  so I would seek them out.  Not getting spanked seems like being in the Twilight Zone.  The same thing happens when so many have been mean to us and someone comes along and shows us love and kindness.

When so many people have been mean to us on a regular basis,  it gets to the point that the mean things don't have any effect on us any more.  When someone shows kindness,  we don't know how to take that.  It doesn't seem real and it is like being in the Twilight Zone.   We often feel like we are being hurt by the kindness and we think that it is the kindness.  It is not the kindness that hurts us, it is the hurts stored up from the mean things done to us that are starting to surface.  We start to cry and it becomes overwhelming to us so we run away from the kind person.  I myself have struggled with this.

There are many of you who may be struggling with this.  If you find yourself struggling with this,  I will pray for you.  Don't run away from kind people.  You were all created to be loved and treated with kindness.  It is only right for you.  As hard as it may be, embrace that kindness and the kind person may be giving you the opportunity to release those hurts.  Let them release. 

If you are that kind person and you find someone running from you,  understand what they are going through and continue to the best of your abilities to show kindness toward that person.  Your kindness and perseverance can change that person's life.   I, myself have run into people like that and I was like that myself.   Perseverance pays off.  Never give up on anyone,  you may have reached them when they need you the most. 

It is not right for anyone to not be loved.  I want to let you all know that you are loved.  If any of you need anything,  feel free to message me anytime.

Rodney Calmes

Friday, November 15, 2013

Our Past May Hit Us Several Times A Day, But Keep Looking Toward The Blessing We Have

Our Past May Hit Us Several Times A Day,  Keep Looking Toward The Blessing We Have

The deep wounds that were left on us take much time to heal.  One of the hardest steps is to forgive those who abused us,  bullied us,  or molested us.   From these things,  we carry much pain inside that must be released.  We have to work out forgiveness to those who wronged us.

The memories of our past hit us several times a day, but we cannot dwell on them, they will only hurt us more.   Keep looking forward.  If you have forgiven your abusers, remind yourself of that.  If you were able to change a life because of the abuse you went through,  remind yourself of that.  Changing people's lives is a blessing. 

You may not be the same person you were before you were abused, but you are a better person.  Remind yourself of that.  You may not know it, but you are a blessing to people.  Remind yourself of that. 

When you are reminded of your past, remind yourself that it has been nailed on the cross,  remind yourself that you forgave the abusers,  and remind yourself how many lives are blessed because of you.

God bless,
Rodney Calmes

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

"Bad Cops"

"Bad Cops"

"Bad cops" are referred to parents,  teachers, other forms of caretakers, bosses, or other forms of authorities who knit pick people.  

Having a bad cop does not benefit anyone, it does not promote behavior or performance.  It does the opposite.   Bad cops find little things that people do and punish them for it.   They expect people to read their minds and expect people to act according to what they think.   Every little thing that deviates from that,  a person gets punished. 

People under bad cops whether they are children or adults become discouraged.  They get punished and don't understand why.  It gets to a point where I am going to be punished anyway so I might as well do what I want.   We walk on egg shells when we are around these bad cops.  Their behavior destroys our confidence.   Their behavior makes us feel worthless.   Because we are walking on egg shells and we live in fear,  our performance drops in the event of a job situation.   We become fearful of our parents/caretakers and are afraid to even talk to them because of fear of making them mad or getting in their way.   We become fearful of asking teachers questions in fear of being punished for not getting it, thus our grades drop. 

The punishment we get from bad cops become ineffective because we have no escape from punishment.  We feel that we are going to get punished no matter what.   We feel that there is nothing we can do to avoid punishment.   We become resentful of these "bad cops". 

For those who were raised with "bad cops", it may be difficult at best to regain confidence.  For those who had "bad cops" for a boss, as soon as we move on to a better job environment,  our confidence comes back rather shortly.  We may also fear finding another job in fear that we would not make it.   For those who had "bad cops" for teachers,  we may lose confidence in school or academics and avoid schooling.  

We all run into "bad cops" somewhere down the line.  If you are struggling with this,  I will pray for you.

Always know that if we strive to please God rather than men,  God is well pleased with that.  

Rodney Calmes

Sunday, November 3, 2013

An Art That Is Not Recognized

An Art That Is Not Recognized

Many people think that BDSM is always a sexual thing when 90 percent of the time it is not sexual.   It takes much creativity to set up the role playing,  create the settings,  and administer the punishment.  Spanking is a big part of this and spanking is not just giving swats on the butt,  it is done in a setting and being creative in acting out the disciplinarian's role in addressing a misbehavior that was done during the spanking.  It is an art to be able to do that in such a way to get the adrenaline flowing. 

Anyone can inflict pain on another person,  but it takes training to make that pain become a pleasurable experience.   That in itself is an art.  The marks left from spankings is an art as well. 

Art is highly respected and respectful.   BDSM shows a very high respect for the subs and the dommes.  It is not abuse because it is consentual.  BDSM also requires trust between all parties involved.   BDSM is a very beautiful thing to enjoy and embrace.

BDSM is an art that is just as valuable as any other form of art, but yet many people don't recognize that.  It is a very awesome experience.  You discover new things about yourself and you discover new beautiful things that can be embraced. BDSM is nothing to be ashamed of, it gives you the freedom to be yourself and to explore who you are. It also allows you to accept yourself and embrace every part of yourself. 

BDSM is an art and it is a freedom and it is very soothing to the soul.

Embrace who you are.  If you like BDSM,  embrace it,  don't be ashamed of it.

Rodney Calmes