My Story, and Things I have learned throughout my life. By Rodney Calmes
Monday, November 25, 2013
What Happens When A Person Is Spanked Too Harshly Too Often
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
When Repeatedly Exposed To Pain, We Build Resistance To Pain And Further Damage Both Physically And Mentally
Friday, November 15, 2013
Our Past May Hit Us Several Times A Day, But Keep Looking Toward The Blessing We Have
Our Past May Hit Us Several Times A Day, Keep Looking Toward The Blessing We Have
The deep wounds that were left on us take much time to heal. One of the hardest steps is to forgive those who abused us, bullied us, or molested us. From these things, we carry much pain inside that must be released. We have to work out forgiveness to those who wronged us.
The memories of our past hit us several times a day, but we cannot dwell on them, they will only hurt us more. Keep looking forward. If you have forgiven your abusers, remind yourself of that. If you were able to change a life because of the abuse you went through, remind yourself of that. Changing people's lives is a blessing.
You may not be the same person you were before you were abused, but you are a better person. Remind yourself of that. You may not know it, but you are a blessing to people. Remind yourself of that.
When you are reminded of your past, remind yourself that it has been nailed on the cross, remind yourself that you forgave the abusers, and remind yourself how many lives are blessed because of you.
God bless,
Rodney Calmes
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
"Bad Cops"
"Bad Cops"
"Bad cops" are referred to parents, teachers, other forms of caretakers, bosses, or other forms of authorities who knit pick people.
Having a bad cop does not benefit anyone, it does not promote behavior or performance. It does the opposite. Bad cops find little things that people do and punish them for it. They expect people to read their minds and expect people to act according to what they think. Every little thing that deviates from that, a person gets punished.
People under bad cops whether they are children or adults become discouraged. They get punished and don't understand why. It gets to a point where I am going to be punished anyway so I might as well do what I want. We walk on egg shells when we are around these bad cops. Their behavior destroys our confidence. Their behavior makes us feel worthless. Because we are walking on egg shells and we live in fear, our performance drops in the event of a job situation. We become fearful of our parents/caretakers and are afraid to even talk to them because of fear of making them mad or getting in their way. We become fearful of asking teachers questions in fear of being punished for not getting it, thus our grades drop.
The punishment we get from bad cops become ineffective because we have no escape from punishment. We feel that we are going to get punished no matter what. We feel that there is nothing we can do to avoid punishment. We become resentful of these "bad cops".
For those who were raised with "bad cops", it may be difficult at best to regain confidence. For those who had "bad cops" for a boss, as soon as we move on to a better job environment, our confidence comes back rather shortly. We may also fear finding another job in fear that we would not make it. For those who had "bad cops" for teachers, we may lose confidence in school or academics and avoid schooling.
We all run into "bad cops" somewhere down the line. If you are struggling with this, I will pray for you.
Always know that if we strive to please God rather than men, God is well pleased with that.
Rodney Calmes
Sunday, November 3, 2013
An Art That Is Not Recognized
An Art That Is Not Recognized
Many people think that BDSM is always a sexual thing when 90 percent of the time it is not sexual. It takes much creativity to set up the role playing, create the settings, and administer the punishment. Spanking is a big part of this and spanking is not just giving swats on the butt, it is done in a setting and being creative in acting out the disciplinarian's role in addressing a misbehavior that was done during the spanking. It is an art to be able to do that in such a way to get the adrenaline flowing.
Anyone can inflict pain on another person, but it takes training to make that pain become a pleasurable experience. That in itself is an art. The marks left from spankings is an art as well.
Art is highly respected and respectful. BDSM shows a very high respect for the subs and the dommes. It is not abuse because it is consentual. BDSM also requires trust between all parties involved. BDSM is a very beautiful thing to enjoy and embrace.
BDSM is an art that is just as valuable as any other form of art, but yet many people don't recognize that. It is a very awesome experience. You discover new things about yourself and you discover new beautiful things that can be embraced. BDSM is nothing to be ashamed of, it gives you the freedom to be yourself and to explore who you are. It also allows you to accept yourself and embrace every part of yourself.
BDSM is an art and it is a freedom and it is very soothing to the soul.
Embrace who you are. If you like BDSM, embrace it, don't be ashamed of it.
Rodney Calmes