Abusive Spankings Are Resented Along With Its Side Effects

Abusive Spankings Are Resented Along With Its Side Effects.

I have taken many spankings and whippings in my life. Many of them were abusive, many of them were not as severe but used for punishment, many of them were done as playing around or birthday spankings, and many of them were either done by myself or I consented to as an adult. I received many spankings for things I did wrong. I received many spankings for things that I had no idea what I did to get them. I received many spankings for not catching on to things. I also received some spankings for incidental things that I had no control over. I resented all spankings I got as a child that involved hardwood sticks. I resented having to pull my pants down to get spanked (stick or no stick). I resented getting spanked for not catching on to things. I resented getting spanked for things that I did not know any better on. I resented getting spanked for incidental things or things I had no control over. I did not resent my birthday spankings or any other playful spankings. I did not resent the spankings and whippings that I consented to even though they left a lot of huge scars and were more severe than the spankings I took as a child.

I resented having desires and fascinations with spankings that I had since I was 8 because my abusive childhood spankings have triggered that. I resented myself as a person because I knew that my abusive childhood spankings had a lot to do with who I am today. I was ashamed of who I am and I was ashamed of having those desires. I didn't resent the actual spankings I consented to, but I resented having the desires of it. I have asked God to take my desires and fascinations with getting spanked away from me. I researched the Bible very thoroughly. I looked for a reason that it was a sin. I could not find anything in the Bible about that. God never took that away from me. I asked Him and plead with Him many times about that and nothing changed. It was this very thing that has taught me to accept myself for who I am. This taught me to embrace who I am as long as the Bible does not call it a sin. Sharing this has helped me to accept myself for who I am. This is why I have made a lot of posts about this. I am now much more at peace about who I am and my desires and fascination with spankings. I am no longer ashamed of this. I have no reason to be ashamed of this.

If you have any struggles with who you are, I will pray for you. If you have any struggles with sin, I will not condemn you, but pray for you. Embrace who you are. Embrace what you like as long as it is not sinful. Don't be ashamed of who you are or who God created you to be, repent of any known sin. God will help you with any sin issues, but God may not change who you are if it is not a sin issue. Accept who you are and accept yourself. God created you as a beautiful person.

Rodney Calmes