Spankings With Blunt Force Can Lead To Sadomasochism
Sadomasochism is not just psychological, it is physical. There are physical triggers involved with spanking. Studies have shown a that spankings with blunt force has caused a sudden shift in blood flow in some cases has directed blood into the genital regions. The nerves in the lower buttocks is also connected to the genitals as well, and when very intense damaging pain is inflicted on the lower buttocks, the intense pain radiates to near by areas, including the genitals causing sensations. When a person is in extreme pain, adrenaline and endorphins are released serving as a pain killer. Any or all of these can trigger sexual experiences even in small children. In small children, the nerves and blood vessels are routed the same as that of an adult. Most children have not recalled such an experience when things like this has happened. These experiences are called involuntary sexual experiences. People who have been spanked with blunt force as an adolescent or adult, example: Paddling in school, has recalled having experiences like that. Most small children have not recalled these experiences.
Signs that a child has experienced an involuntary sexual experience is that they start seeking spankings at a young age. Some of the things you may see in a child is that they continually do things that they got spanked for. They may have an excessive interest in games or activities that involve spankings. You may see them spanking themselves often. They may make suggestions of spankings for a punishment rather than other punishments. Or they may take an excessive interest in spankings. When you are about to spank them and they suggest a harsher instrument. They may suggest that it takes more spanking or a harder spanking than that to teach them. They may indicate that the spanking does not hurt, or that you will not hurt me by spanking me, thus trying to provoke the parent to spank harder.
When I go back into my life, I had desired to be spanked since I was 8 years old. I did not understand why, but I liked getting spanked since about that time. I also displayed all the signs above during that time.
When a child who may have experienced this involuntary sexual experience gets to be an adolescent and hormones start to change, they may associate spankings with their sexuality where most people associate boys/girls - opposite gender of themselves. The adolescent may not express this to anyone. They may be like a normal person on the outside, but they will turn to spankings when exploring their sexuality. If they express this, it is a sign that they may get involved with S&M. Some of them may self spank and have that experience, which will get them more hooked into it. My first personal experience with that is when I was 19, even though I self spanked starting at age 15.
The Problems With Society’s Views of Sadomasochism:
1. In many societies, it is considered unacceptable behavior, it is scoffed and laughed at by others, which intimidates the person who is involved with it.
2. It was called a “psycho-sexual disorder” back in the 1990’s, which also intimidates a person who is involved with that. In recent years, they have changed that to being called “an alternate lifestyle”.
3. People keep silent, especially those involved with it with fear of being scoffed at, laughed at, or being frowned upon.
4. People who have not experienced S&M completely do not understand, and they make comments like “how can anyone be involved with that?” or “Anyone who does that is nuts!”, which further intimidates those who are into it.
5. Many churches call it a sin, even though the practice of this between husband and wife is not mentioned in the Bible, and the Bible has no scriptures to condemn such a practice as sin. Since it is not mentioned in the Bible, we cannot condemn it. Just like smoking cannot be condemned as a sin. Calling something a sin that is not mentioned in the Bible does not convict anyone, but intimidates people. Anything that is not mentioned in the Bible should not be addressed as a sin.
6. People who are into S&M has felt that they were alone, and has experienced much anxiety for liking it. They have also felt intimidated for liking S&M, and often felt like there was something wrong with them, and felt much shame for it. I, myself have experienced that and was afraid to tell anyone, or even post this. Breaking the silence of this is extremely important.
How do we Break Down These Problems?
1. Break the silence. Do not be ashamed or feel intimidated if you are into S&M. Anything that is consensual between husband and wife is ok. It is ok to like what you like, even if no one else likes it. There is nothing wrong with you for liking it.
2. Understand that if you cannot find a passage of scripture to condemn it, then it is not a sin, do not condemn something without researching the Bible first.
3. Understand that it anything that is consensual between husband and wife is ok, including S&M. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not wrong as long as it does not violate another person’s consent.
4. Accept the differences of others. If their differences do not go against Biblical guidelines, then tolerate it and be ok with it. It is ok for someone to be themselves and to like what they like. If it does go against Biblical guidelines and the person is a professing Christian, have a gentle and loving spirit toward them and show them the scripture. Do not reject such a person, but show grace toward them, and give them a chance to repent. There are Biblical guidelines for that, and if a person chooses not to repent, there are guidelines for that too. If the person is not a Christian, love them, and share the gospel of Christ with them, do not reject them, and do not address their sin. Non Christians will live in sin, and they need to hear the gospel and accept Christ, and when they start to read the Bible, they will be convicted that way. Give them a chance.
5. Never judge a person. Show them grace and mercy. It is your love for them that will speak to them, not your judgment of their issues.
6. Do not shame a person or intimidate a person for their lifestyle. If their lifestyle is a sin issue, restore them gently with love. If their lifestyle is not a sin issue, leave it alone and accept that it is ok for them to be involved with what they are involved with.
7. You are not alone. There are many people who are involved with S&M. Be yourself, and understand that it is ok for you to like what you like. If you like to be spanked, even of no one else does, it is ok. There is nothing wrong with you for that.
Sadomasochism Is More Common Than You Think
Sadomasochism is more common than you think. It can range from light spankings to very intense whippings or other forms of pain. I will share some facts about Sadomasochism.
1. An average of 4 out of 10 people practice S&M.
2. An average of 1 out of 10 people practice S&M with severe punishments.
3. An average of 8 out of 10 people either practiced S&M at various levels of severity or had some form of interest or intrigue in spankings, even if they never practiced it.
4. Only 2 out of 10 people think it is absolutely nuts.
This is based on a paper I did in Psychology class back in 1991. These numbers may have changed since then, but I believe that they may have slightly increased because more people are open than they were years ago.
Things I Have Learned From Being Involved With Sadomasochism
Sadomasochism BDSM is something that I deal with and have been ashamed of that for years. I liked getting spanked since I was 8, and I have asked God to take that away from me many times, and He would not. Through this, God lead me to do a thorough research in the Bible just to find that the Bible does not condone this nor condemn it. Me liking to get spanked is much different than most people, even though severe blunt spankings has a physical trigger. Sadomasochism, in a lot of cases socially unacceptable, especially in the church. That is why I have been ashamed of that.
I was taught through my experience with S&M that that if I cannot find in the Bible where it says that it is wrong, to never assume it is wrong. I also learned to never judge a person if they are doing something that seems wrong until I can find in the Bible that it is wrong, and even if I find something, to restore a person in a spirit of gentleness and love rather than banging them over the head with a bible. I have also learned that it is ok to like something that is not popular as long as the Bible does not condemn it. It is ok for me to be me, and it is ok for others to be themselves. I have also learned through this experience to be accepting of others and their differences as long as it is not sin and they are not hurting other people by what they do.
My experience with S&M and liking to get spanked has also taught me to accept myself for who I am and to understand the struggles of others and to be more loving toward them rather than being critical of others. I have also learned through this to accept the differences of others, even if their differences seem unpopular. This is why God has allowed me to like getting spanked and He has not taken that away from me, even though I had asked Him many times to take that away from me.
He is also using me to post this to show others that if they deal with something that does not seem popular, that they have nothing to be ashamed of for who they are. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you have differences. It is ok as long as it does not violate the guidelines of the Bible.
There are many other people who are struggling with being ashamed of what they like, that may be you as well. It is ok for you to be you, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. For those who are struggling with anxiety, shame, or intimidation for being involved with something different, I hope by sharing this, that your minds would be eased of that, and that you understand that there is nothing wrong for liking what you like, as long as it is not hurtful to others or it does not violate the scriptures.
This is also a good lesson for many to learn from, and I will pray for each one of you. Having differences does not make you any less of a person.
Rodney Calmes